Already a trilogy in the works

Transformers, a new Michael Bay/Steven Spielberg collaboration, opens on July 2nd, but there is already talk of a trilogy.

With the newest trailer which was released in May, the anticipation for the film has increased drastically.

The cast and crew are being told to keep their schedules open next year for the sequel. This just shows how hight the expectations are coming from Dreamworks and Paramount.

The sequel is to hit production some time next year.

Ogredone

'Shrek the Third'

Running Time: 1 hour 32 minutes
Rating: PG
Directed by: Chris Miller

Shrek the Third is not a movie fit for a king, for it fails to live up to its predecessors. While Shrek and Shrek 2 were original and fresh, this movie seems to recycle and rehash its old material, ultimately sacrificing its comic wit.

The story starts with the King on his deathbed, the telling Shrek (Mike Myers) that he is the first in line to the throne. But luckily for Shrek, their is another heir, his cousin Arthur (Justin Timberlake). Shrek then begins his quest to track down Arthur and convince him to take the role as king of Far Far Away. And this is basically the main thrust of the film - an ogre trying to escape his duty as king.

The biggest problem with the movie is how the main theme is carried out through the character of Arthur. Instead of throwing Shrek and Fionna into the world of parenthood, Shrek assumes the role of a father-like figure. Its unsatisfying and sucks the comedy dry.

Additionally, many items from the second film and reinstated in this one. Charming is back once again as a villain, bringing along with him fabled villains. With all the scattered villains, and Charming at the helm, the climax comes off very anticlimactic.

The film's saving grace is the introduction of princesses (Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel) at Fionna's baby shower. All of them are voiced by SNL actresses and are unique and interesting, playing off of some of the stereotypical traits of the princesses.

Overall, Shrek the Third is a disappointment, with a weak plot, an underwhelming villain, and recycled material. Hopefully Shrek 4 can pick up the pieces.

Culthouse

Grindhouse, released in theaters on April 6, is quickly gaining cult-like status, despite poor box office numbers.

The idea for Grindhouse originated from Tarantino and Rodriguez after Tarantino invited Rodriguez over to his house to watch back-to-back features and movie trailers. Now everyone wants to do it.

There are already talks of a Grindhouse 2, which may include a full length version of Thanksgiving, a fake trailer made by Eli Roth (Hostel). There is talk of Werewomen of the S.S., another fake trailer by Rob Zombie in Grindhouse, becoming a full length film since most of it is already shot. The other fake trailer, Don't, by film director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz), is also being considered for Grindhouse 2 as a feature length film.

Rodriguez, himself, is considering filming Machete as his next project, squeezing it in before Sin City 2. He already filmed 30 minutes of it for the opening fake trailer in Grindhouse and Danny Trejo says it's a definite. As for Tarantino, he is working on expanding his film in Grindhouse, Death Proof.

But now... Eli Roth wants to take Grindhouse one step further. He now wants to make a film of nothing but a series of fake trailers, while still having a story line. He has already started the script.

Harry Likes His Women With Curves

After browsing throught the Internet, I stumbled on to something a little unsettling and sorta creepy.

Recently, posters for Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix were released. It appears that the posters for Imax 3D cinemas made Emma Watson's (Hermione Granger) chest... well... bigger.

Unaltered Version:

Altered Version:

Emma Watson plays a girl who is only 15 years-old in the Harry Potter movie. Anyone who goes to Harry Potter for the sex appeal... is well... I don't even have a word for it. I think the pictures say it all.

A Darker Spider

'Spider-man 3'

Directed by: Sam Raimi
Running Time: 2 hours 36 minutes
Rating: PG-13

With all the hype surrounding Spider-man 3, you'd have to stick your head in the ground to avoid getting caught in its web.

For Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), battling an eight-legged mad scientist is child’s play. Now he’s got a real fight. This time around, he confronts an escaped convict, Flint Marko (Thomas Haden Church), made of sand who can shape-shift limbs to wield hammers and reach heights of twenty stories, a vengeful ex-best friend, Harry Osborn (James Franco), blood thirsty for his father’s killer, and his agile and merciless counterpart, Venom (Topher Grace).

Because there are so many villains, they all feel underdeveloped. The audience never really learns anything more about Sandman than his motivation to cure his sick daughter by any means possible, Harry flip-flops a little bit unbelievably, and Eddie Brock gets very little onscreen time, especially as Venom.

Good thing it isn’t the villains, however, that drive the picture; it’s Peter and his internal struggle. At the beginning of the story, a comet harboring black goo, a symbiote, hits Earth from outer space and finds its way into Peter’s apartment. When it attaches itself to his suite, it makes him much more aggressive and violent. As Black Spider-man, he is consumed and poisoned by revenge on his Uncle Ben’s killer, Flint Marko.

So if you were wondering, there are actually four villains, if you count Spidey himself. This makes for a much darker film than the previous two. His aggression pushes everyone he cares about away from him, including his girlfriend, Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst).

The darker tone is a good direction for the series, offering something new and intense, but at times, Sam Raimi goes for something along the lines of 80’s emo slapstick and throws it out for cheap laughs. There is a scene in a jazz club where Peter tries to make Mary Jane jealous, but does so by dancing like John Travolta from the 70’s. Also, as Black Spidey, Peter has his hair over his forehead, which is a tad over the top.

As Peter Parker, Tobey Maguire is the perfect choice because he makes it seem effortless to give the character depth and sensitivity. He’s shown that he owns the role in the previous films and doesn’t give any reason to think otherwise in this film. I honestly can’t imagine anyone else playing Spider-man.

The rest of the actors are cast very well also. Topher Grace especially shines as Eddie Brock by bringing the character’s ego, charisma, vulnerability, cockiness and menace to the forefront. He contrasts Peter and who he could have been if he didn’t have a father figure.

And what Sam Raimi film would this be without a cameo by Bruce Campbell? He makes his appearance as a French Maître d’, and steals his scene with perfectly timed humor and an outlandish French accent. Raimi uses similar humor in various parts of the film, especially with J. Jonah Jameson (J.K. Simmons) in the newsroom. In one instance, Jameson’s secretary repeatedly shakes his desk with a remote buzzer in a sarcastic effort to lower his blood pressure.

The main problem with the movie is that there are so many subplots that go in so many different directions, there are things left underdeveloped. It’s not as good as Spider-man 2, but that’s not to say that this isn’t a good movie, with the same Spider-man at heart and one hell of a climax reminiscent to the days of watching Saturday morning superhero cartoons.

Spider-man 3 is Around the Corner

Spider-man 3 opens on Friday, May 4th, and its arguably the most expensive film ever made, with an estimated cost anywhere from $350 - 500 million.

As of this point, fandango.com and movietickets.com are reporting tickets are already selling triple what Spider-man 2 did, a whole week before the movie hits theaters.

With the third installment being released shortly, the cast and crew have spoken out on possibilities of a fourth film, rejecting some comments made earlier as to whether they would indeed continue with the series.

Sam Raimi, the director, on the subject of casting said, "I would have to make that choice based on what the story is and what the characters are. It would be very hard to be involved without Tobey and Kirsten for me at least."

Regardless of who is involved in the franchises future, it will undoubtably have a future. Marvel Produver, Avi Arid said, “You have to look at it as Spider-Man is over 40 years old, in so many media from animation to comic books to graphic novels, maybe Broadway, video games, probably the most successful video games of all time. So the character is bigger than all of us. I think we’d rather continue of course with Sam and the whole team. We’ve been together for a long time. The fact is that the character will endure. Spider-Man survived, believe me, bankruptcies, bad economies, you name it. And it’s around and alive and bigger than ever."

Ironically, it is rumored that bootleg copies of Spider-man 3 are already available on the streets of Beijing.

Puts the Bud in "Buddy-Cop Movie"

'Hot Fuzz'

Running Time: 2 hours 1 minute
Rating: R
Directed by: Edgar Wright

For Grindhouse, Wright guest-directed an incredibly ridiculous and funny trailer for a fake movie Don't. But that was just a teaser for Hot Fuzz.

Hot Fuzz can be described as an action-packed comedy but it really can't be put into any set category. It is its own thing, a completely original movie (just don't get offended because it makes fun of all American cop movies).

The movie centers around Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg), an over-achieving policer "officer" who is transferred from London to a rural town for showing up everyone in the police department with over 400% more arrests than the next leading officer. He's so good that he makes everyone else look bad, inlcuding the Chief Inspector (Bill Nighy).

At his first night in the "perfect" town of Sandford, he cleans out the local pub of youths and ironically arrests his soon-to-be partner Danny Butterman (Nick Frost). The town is crime-free, but Angel refuses to believe it. He later says to Danny, "There is always something going on."

The story starts when people in the town start dying, and Angel is the only one who believes they are connected. He is persistent to find the killer with the help of his action-hungry partner and cop movie buff, Butterman.

The fast paced nature of the film (similar to the editing of Shaun of the Dead), makes the mood seem very light and funny, like it were overdramatizing events. It never stoops to the typical dirty jokes are now just a result of laziness and going for the cheap laughs. The jokes are fresh and clever. Would you expect anything less? It's a British comedy.

The dialogue is witty and sharp. And there are priests and grandmothers with shotguns and automatics. For the sake of not ruining any jokes, you'll have to take my word that this is one funny movie.

If you've seen Wright's Shaun of the Dead, then you pretty much have an idea of what you are in for, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's without a doubt a terribly fun movie, one that should not be missed.

A Shot of 70s Pulp to the Veins

'Grindhouse'

Directed by: Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino
Running Time: 3 hours 5 minutes
Rating: R

Jars of testicles. Severed limbs. Faux trailers with Nicholas Cage and Machete, one angry Mexican. A machine gun leg. Ship's mast on a white 1970 Dodge Challenger. Grotesque jelly blood. Helicopter decapitations. And of course, Tarantino's dialogue.

All things that you can find in the "fully loaded" double-feature film Grindhouse, things you don't want to want to see. As a homage to exploitation films from the 70s, featuring extreme gore, nudity, and just about anything that can be included in the category "sensational," this film takes past culture and and slams it full speed into the present.

The film captures the essence of being at a "grindhouse." Before each film starts, the screen turns red and the outline of a panther appears, accompanied by its growl, reading: "Age Restricted." In between the films are three fake trailers and images of food as if concessions were being served in the intermission.

But what really creates the atmosphere is the grainy footage and how it gives the effect that it is exposed to plenty of dust and is being projected onto a deteriorating screen. Lines go through the screen while you can hear the sound of reels changing, and even occasionally, a reel will go missing. One second will be a sex scene and the next a BBQ joint will be on fire as an onslaught of zombies approach.

This happens in the first film, Planet Terror, Robert Rodriguez's outlandish zombie film. The plot has something to do with Osama Bin Ladin and biochemicals, but no one really cares. What matters is that there are zombies and zombies eating brains.

It follows El Wray (Freddy Rodriguez), Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan), and Dakota Block (Marley Shelton) as they fight to stay alive. It's untamed and uncontrollable. I think saying it has a "chick with a gun for a leg" says it all.

Ironically, the "chick with a gun for a leg" (Cherry Darling) helps pace the film. After zombies chewed her leg off, Cherry is left with one leg. Being a pessimist and a person with over sixty useless talents, all of which are numbered, she goes through interesting character development that leads up to the climax in which El Wray thrusts the gun into her, no pun intended.

Planet Terror is as much a comedy as anything else, with some of the most sadistic humor. In one scene, Dakota tries to escape a zombie-infested hospital and attempts to open her car, but her hands are numb. So she slides one hand behind the handle and tries to push the button by kicking it with her heel, only to slip and snap her hand. Another time, Dakota gives her son, no more than ten years old, a gun as she leaves him alone. He shoots himself in the face almost immediately.

The second film, Death Proof, is Quentin Tarantino's car derby/serial killer bonanza. It is considerably slower and less gory than the previous film. To fully enjoy it, you need to be able to appreciate the art of dialogue and the building of tension.

Death Proof is a homage to slasher films. Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) stalks groups of girls and carefully plans the kills. Although how he kills them is always the same: with his car.

There is a lot of down time and leading up to the kills. Some may think all the dialogue is boring, but it really makes the payoff that much better. Tarantino actually makes the dialogue more interesting than anything else. There is one scene in which Stuntman Mike tells a girl in his car that she shouldn't have said she was going right because she is going to start getting scared that he is turning left.

For Stuntman Mike, Kurt Russell is perfect. He gives one of his best performances as an obsessive, twisted, charming, and mysterious serial killer. He knows when the be serious and when to be ridiculous. Ever want to see Kurt Russell cry? Well you can now.

I personally feel as though Tarantino's film is superior to Rodriguez's, due to its storytelling. Tarantino also approaches his film as someone who has seen and is versed in the films he is paying tribute to. However, to the credit of both directors, they both set out to recreate a fresh look at "grindhouse" films from the 70s, but created something else entirely.

Overall, the sum of the film is greater than its parts and has become one of the most entertaining films I have ever seen. It's one wild and fast ride. Movies like this certainly aren't made anymore. But then again, I don't think they ever were.

Ridiculous and Over the Top Never Hurt Anyone

"You'll come home for the holidays... in a body bag."

Yesterday, one of three faux trailers for the double feature exploitation film Grindhouse was released on the web. The combination of the trailers and the film simulate, well, the experience of going to the Grindhouse. The circulating trailer is for the fake film Thanksgiving, directed by Eli Roth (Hostel), a homage to old holiday slasher films from the 70s.

The trailer contains some of the most gruesome and graphic images in American cinema. It's ridiculous, over the top, and criticized as too sensationalistic. All these characteristics make it fit right in with Grindhouse.

It's dark and twisted, very very twisted. The movie trailer narrator talks in a low muffled voice; it's so dramatically eerie that it's humorous. The music sounds like its from the old horror films that you laugh at because the effects are so cheesy.

About every thirty seconds, the screen goes back to the shot of a turkey being stabbed by a knife, causing it to ooze with blood, complimented with the narrator muttering "Thanksgiving." It's cut fast and completely flippant.

At the bottom is a link for the trailer (I didn't want to post it, that's how bad it is), so proceed with caution. Once you see the trailer, there is no going back. It's definitely not for everyone. I actually cannot even describe some of the things seen in the trailer, at the risk of being too profane. Consider yourself warned.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RApHZ-snSGc

"This is Africa"

'Blood Diamond'

Running Time: 2 hours 23 minutes
Rating: R
Directed by: Edward Zwick

Somehow Blood Diamond was lost in all the dirt scuffed up by the shuffling of all the other action thrillers last year, but its surprisingly one of the better films of 2006.

Set in 1999, the backdrop for the film is the civil war that engulfed Sierra Leone during the 1990's. It's the story of Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio), an African diamond smuggler trying to get his piece of the pie, and Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou), a Mende fisherman who is separated from his family amidst the power struggle between the government and the rebels. Both men's fate are tied and are led down the same path to find a rare pink diamond.

At first glance, Blood Diamond seems to be mediocre political film with boomsticks, but if given a chance, it can be so much more than that. While the action sequences can be mind numbing and repetitive for the first hour, the film builds on its story to make a powerful statement. By the end of the film, air will taste sweeter and bleach will smell better.

Closely paralleling the violence in Darfur today, the film explores the motives of war and carnage. It treats both sides as complex humans, not subject to the simple labels of good and evil.

Not surprisingly Leonardo DiCaprio proves yet again that there is no role he cannot play. He gives the his most mature performance, showing his wide range. His fleshed out character, Danny Archer, is the backbone of the film, as the most interesting and confusing character that glues your eyes to the screen in disgust and sympathy.

To back up DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou and Jennifer Connelly give solid performances. Also, to round out the acting, the film has a decent screenplay combined with beautiful cinematography.

Blood Diamond attempts to get your adrenaline rushing as fast as Niagara Falls but misfires and hits you in the heart. Once the action takes the passenger seat and the story starts driving, this film can give a unique and moving experience.

Bye, Bye, Tobey

The Spiderman films are coming to an end.

Tobey Maguire has hinted at leaving the Spiderman franchise and not renewing his 3-film contract. After three films, he's probably done with playing the same character and wants to move on to new and different things.

With Tobey bailing, and the possibility of Kirsten Dunst of opting not to return to the series, the Spiderman films will most likely be a trilogy, or as close to a trilogy comic book films become.

I also doubt Sam Raimi will continue the films; he's been quoted as saying it's a big possibility that he will stop if Tobey Maguire doesn't return.

The third film, Spiderman 3, which is released on May 4th, will supposedly bring most things to a conclusion. People will have to be content with it, that is until a new director and new cast pick up where these films leave off as a spin off years down the road.

Spiderman is such a huge cash box for Sony, Spiderman 3 won't be the last. It'll just be the last for Tobey and Sam and the last for a little while.

Not 'The Most Dangerous "Movie"'

'Zodiac'

Rating: R
Directed by: David Fincher
Running Time: 2 hours 40 minutes

Close your eyes and imagine what it's like chasing a ghost. Now figure in low raspy crackling voices, knives, and no witnesses (at least until they are shot that is) and you've got a pretty good idea of just who the Zodiac is.

The film documents the murders and the following investigation in the 1970's based on the real-life California serial killer who claimed to have killed 37 people, but can only be linked to five. Even with all the suspects, no one has been caught to this day.

Set in the San Francisco Bay Area, Zodiac is about the obsession and frustration of finding a clever murderer. Three men become consumed with the case, especially after the Zodiac starts mailing cyphers and puzzles to various newspapers, including the San Francisco Chronicle.

Robert Graysmith (Jake Gyllenhaal), the cartoonist for the San Francisco Chronicle, takes on the case a personal hobby. Paul Avery (Robert Downey Jr.), a writer for the newspaper, becomes directly involved with the serial killer as a result of the stories he writes. And Inspector David Toschi's (Mark Ruffalo) job is to find the Zodiac, as leader of the police investigation. All these men build their lives on the Zodiac, but are ultimately dragged down by it.

By the end of the film, David Fincher will have taken you on a wild goose chase. It actually fits the investigation perfectly - talk to too many people and you may lose your footing.

Fincher shows us that the Zodiac is just a man who can get lost in the crowd. Because the murders took place in different areas of California, local police became a liability to the federal investigation. He began exploiting the weakness of bureaucracy. By going to reporters with information, he pitted the press against the government.

Its within all this confusion that the Zodiac was allowed to avoid being convicted. With all the different stories being told, people started to only see what it is that they wanted to see. Everything simplifies down to blind faith. In this sense, the Zodiac became a ghost.

Overall, Zodiac is a good film, just not a great one. The film could have made a much stronger impact if it was shortened down to about two hours. I would have liked to have seen some more risks. However, it does have excellent acting, specifically from Robert Downey Jr. as a flamboyant cynic, and really captures the what its like tracking down the "most dangerous animal." The brilliance of the film lies in the irony of the hunter becoming the hunted and the hunted becoming the hunter.

"Could you double-check the envelope?"

Last year at the 78th Academy Awards, Jon Stewart remarked, "Three Six Mafia: One. Martin Scorsese: Zero."

Not the first joke about Scorsese's losing streak, but definitely one of the last. For decades, Scosese has been one of the biggest losers at the Academy Awards (an honor now held by the eight-time nominated and eight-time disappointed Peter O'Toole, best known for his role in Lawrence of Arabia).

Well, Marty finally got his long overdue recognition for his work last night. After being nominated for six times, it would have been difficult for Scorsese to go home empty handed again, but this time he didn't have to.

When the award for Best Director was going to be presented (after midnight mind you), it was a sealed deal that Martin Scorsese got hit "gold star" when Coppola, Spielberg, and Lucas came on stage to present the award. They weren't going to do something like this for the two-time winner Clint Eastwood or Paul Greengrass, I can assure you.

It's great that Scorsese finally got what we all knew he deserved, after proving himself time and time again with Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, and Goodfellas. But before he could even take the moment in, he had the satisfaction his film, The Departed, winning Best Picture.

No other director or film was more deserving or greater worth, but part of me was kind of disappointed. I was looking forward to yelling at my television and seeing Scosese go for his seventh shot at his first oscar.

'Grindhouse' to be split in two (at least for the non-English speakers)

On April 6th, Tarantino's and Rodriguez's double feature film, (consisting of Death Proof and Planet Terror), will be released. However, this will not be the case for overseas.

For some countries, the two short films will be split and some material will be placed back into the films. This means anyone who hoped to see both is looking at buying two admission tickets.

For anyone who can't remember (or didn't care), Tarantino's Kill Bill was split into two volumes, for artistic reasons, back in 2003 even though it was intended to be one film. It could have been a corporate ploy to cash in as many dollars as possible, but I can't argue with the final product.

As for the Grindhouse, splitting it seems to be a tad unnecessary. It was filmed with intentions to be a compilation of two short films, which makes it even more suspicious that it is being split for certain countries. And adding back in cut scenes is not always a plus. More isn't always better. Just remember, those scenes were cut for a reason.

I almost feel as if foreigners are being taken advantage of. Does corporate Hollywood--umm... I mean Hollywood-- think they won't notice? Maybe so.

My only reasoning for Grindhouse not being split in the U.S. is because Americans are too cheap.

Martin Scorsese is back on the 'Mean Streets'

'The Departed'

Rating: R
Directed by: Martin Scorsese
Running Time: 2 hours 31 minutes

If you haven't seen The Departed, then don't consider yourself a fan of movies.

Based on the Hong Kong thriller Infernal Affairs, Scorsese has brought a masterpiece to American cinema. There has never been a better cat and mouse flick. He handles with great ease guns, murder, plot twists, coke, love triangles, betrayal, and cranberry juice.

The film follows Billy Costigan (Leonardo Di Caprio), a wannabe state trooper from the Southie Projects in Boston. He is assigned to be a rat in Costello's crew, the biggest mafia boss in all of Boston. As if there isn't enough Billy has to fear, there is a rat in the police department, Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon).

It's a fast paced game of who can smoke the other rat out first before one of them is exposed. It's not so easy when both are experts in keeping their cool and their hands steady. They have to live their lies in constant paranoia and loneliness. Scorsese purposely blurs the lines between good and bad so it's hard to tell who to trust. As Costello (Jack Nicholson) says, "When you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference."

Costello's character is down right devious in the film. When he shoots a woman in the back of the head as she awaits her death, she falls the the ground from her knees, and Costello remarks, "She fell funny." He is a villain taken to the extreme. In one instance he takes women back to his room and throws cocaine all over their bodies like a coating of snow and says, "Don't move until you are numb."

Jack Nicholson plays this part like he were let loose out of a cage, which isn't a bad thing. All the other actors are also superb. It helps that the actors are given characters with depth to work with. Leonardo Di Caprio gives his first mature performance. Mark Wahlberg steals every one of his scenes. And Alec Baldwin is hysterical.

This is a film that needs to be seen, not talked about. There are so many moments of pure brilliance, no water cooler discussion will ever do it justice. This is the best film of 2006, and Scorsese's best since Taxi Driver.

The Departed feels very reminiscent of Goodfellas, but that's not to suggest it's a rehash; it's Scorsese taking what he knows - crime dramas - and making the best of it. When a director can maintain humor, tension, and intrigue on the screen all at once, the director has done something right. Scorsese does something right every five minutes.

Horses and hounddogs, oh my!

There has been an uproar over the Sundance films Zoo and Hounddog. However, it's somewhat half-baked.

In Zoo, men engage in sexual relations with horses and in Hounddog, there is a rape scene involving Dakota Fanning. These can understandably make people feel uncomfortable, but then again, people don't have to watch these movies.

So then where is the controversy? Do people think that man on horse (or horse on man) is too explicit and foul for anyone to see? Is it that people think moviegoers get some sick and twisted pleasure from it themselves? Do people think a rape scene involving an eleven year-old is crossing the line? Are we corrupting the youth of society and robbing them of their innocence? Well, what is it?

All I have to say is stop looking at these at surface value and start looking at them in a different way.

People look at the film Zoo and see man's "fatal" attraction towards stallions. I can just imagine people leaving the film as they hold back the vomit only to go over to another, far "superior" movie, like Epic Movie. It really is a shame because that is all that people will see, just horses, men, and their sexcapades in between.

Why can't people see the film for how it really is? What drives a person to have feelings towards another man or woman is no different than someone who were to have feelings for, say horses. We don't decide who we love, we just do. No one person is less of a slave to their hormones and biological chemicals. If a film shows two men together, it should not be said that the film director is necessarily advocating that every straight person go out and experiment. The same can be said if a director shows a man and a woman together.

I have watched a decent amount of films, and the one thing I know is that they centralize around stories. Maybe a horse sex scene is not about the raw physical desire, but about a man's torment in participating in such an action. Maybe it's about his only true escape. Maybe the film is really is just about horses, men, and throwing in some champagne, but more often then not, people will sell films like theses short.

When people look at the scene in Hounddog, they will see Dakota Fanning and scream, "My, God! She is just a child! What is that man doing to her?!?!" They'll count all the boundaries independent films has crossed on their fingers and then move on to their toes.

But what is it in the rape scene that goes to far? It's not like these sort of things don't happen. And it's just a dramatization, not an real rape. Wait no, I take that back. This makes total sense. People should boycott Hounddog and go see Saving Private Ryan, where people's intenstines are spewed into the forground of the camera shot.

What people need to realize that there is more on the screen than what is seen.

A fairy tale, but not for the faint of heart

'Pan's Labyrinth'
(El Laberinto del Fauno)

Rating: R
Directed by: Guillermo Del Toro
Running Time: 1 hour 54 minutes

Fantasies and old folk tales don't normally involve faces being repeatedly battered by the butt of a glass wine bottle so the skin rips past the hair line, exposing fleshy red blotches, and caving the skull inwards towards where the nose used to be. But then again, this isn't like most fantasies or folk tales.

Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto Del Fauno), filmed in Spanish, follows the journey of a young girl, Ofelia, on her quest to become a princess of the underworld. Saying her life is difficult is being optomistic; her mother is sick during the final stages of her pregnancy and has remarried the Captain, a man who's interests lie only in his legacies, his unborn child and himself. She and her mother are brought to a military camp in the woods to be with the Captain for the birth.

At the camp, the Captain exerts brutal determination, not to merely defend, but to destroy the Spanish rebels, often exuberating torture. He is a cold and arrogant man. When he meets Ofelia for the first time, she holds out her left hand to shake his, but he soon snatches it and scolds her using the wrong hand. His ego is the only thing bigger than him. On one occasion, the doctor of the camp asks the Captain why he is so sure that his unborn child is a boy. The Captain quickly snaps back with, "Don't fuck with me."

Deeply sadened by her new father and worrying for her mother's life, Ofelia wanders into the woods during the night. A shapeshifting fairy leads her to a labyrinth only to discover a faun who tells her that she is the prophesized soul of a princess who left the underworld many years before. The faun also tells her she must complete three tasks before the full moon, otherwise her fate is to die a mortal.

The film's merits lie in its creativity. When the creatures are on screen, you don't want them to leave because their presence is so powerful. The Pale Man is something to see; he will chill your bones without even lifting an eye. At times, it's hard not to feel like a little kid again hearing bed time stories and just losing yourself, something that is far underrated.

Don't make any mistake about it, this is one gruesome movie - a person is shot in point blank range, a cheek is sliced with a kitchen knife, and a person stiches himself with a fishhook and twine. Leave the kids at home. But it's not on screen just to make people hide behind their hands and squel in the ear of the unfortunate person sitting next to them. These scenes portray the opposing values of beatuy and uglyness in fantasy and reality.

The film can be interpreted in so many different ways that it works on so many different levels. It is an exceptionaly exhilirating, adventurous, and depressing film. Prepare yourself for something you have never seen before. When it comes down to it, Pan's Labyrinth is a touching story that is told with unique mastery.

2007 Oscar Nominations: Complete List

The Associated Press

Complete list of the 79th Annual Academy Award nominations announced Jan. 23 at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences in Beverly Hills, Calif.:

1. Best Picture: "Babel," "The Departed," "Letters From Iwo Jima," "Little Miss Sunshine," "The Queen."

2. Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio, "Blood Diamond"; Ryan Gosling, "Half Nelson"; Peter O'Toole, "Venus"; Will Smith, "The Pursuit of Happyness"; Forest Whitaker, "The Last King of Scotland."
3. Actress: Penelope Cruz, "Volver"; Judi Dench, "Notes on a Scandal"; Helen Mirren, "The Queen"; Meryl Streep, "The Devil Wears Prada"; Kate Winslet, "Little Children."

4. Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin, "Little Miss Sunshine"; Jackie Earle Haley, "Little Children"; Djimon Hounsou, "Blood Diamond"; Eddie Murphy, "Dreamgirls"; Mark Wahlberg, "The Departed."

5. Supporting Actress: Adriana Barraza, "Babel"; Cate Blanchett, "Notes on a Scandal"; Abigail Breslin, "Little Miss Sunshine"; Jennifer Hudson, "Dreamgirls"; Rinko Kikuchi, "Babel."

6. Director: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, "Babel"; Martin Scorsese, "The Departed"; Clint Eastwood, "Letters From Iwo Jima"; Stephen Frears, "The Queen"; Paul Greengrass, "United 93."

7. Foreign Language Film: "After the Wedding," Denmark; "Days of Glory (Indigenes)," Algeria; "The Lives of Others," Germany; "Pan's Labyrinth," Mexico; "Water," Canada.

8. Adapted Screenplay: Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Peter Baynham, Dan Mazer and Todd Phillips, "Borat Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan"; Alfonso Cuaron, Timothy J. Sexton, David Arata, Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby, "Children of Men"; William Monahan, "The Departed"; Todd Field and Tom Perrotta, "Little Children"; Patrick Marber, "Notes on a Scandal."

9. Original Screenplay: Guillermo Arriaga, "Babel"; Iris Yamashita and Paul Haggis, "Letters From Iwo Jima"; Michael Arndt, "Little Miss Sunshine"; Guillermo del Toro, "Pan's Labyrinth"; Peter Morgan, "The Queen."

10. Animated Feature Film: "Cars," "Happy Feet," "Monster House."

11. Art Direction: "Dreamgirls," "The Good Shepherd," "Pan's Labyrinth," "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," "The Prestige."

12. Cinematography: "The Black Dahlia," "Children of Men," "The Illusionist," "Pan's Labyrinth," "The Prestige."

13. Sound Mixing: "Apocalypto," "Blood Diamond," "Dreamgirls," "Flags of Our Fathers," "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest."

14. Sound Editing: "Apocalypto," "Blood Diamond," "Flags of Our Fathers," "Letters From Iwo Jima," "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest."

15. Original Score: "Babel," Gustavo Santaolalla; "The Good German," Thomas Newman; "Notes on a Scandal," Philip Glass; "Pan's Labyrinth," Javier Navarrete; "The Queen," Alexandre Desplat.

16. Original Song: "I Need to Wake Up" from "An Inconvenient Truth," Melissa Etheridge; "Listen" from "Dreamgirls," Henry Krieger, Scott Cutler and Anne Preven; "Love You I Do" from "Dreamgirls," Henry Krieger and Siedah Garrett; "Our Town" from "Cars," Randy Newman; "Patience" from "Dreamgirls," Henry Krieger and Willie Reale.

17. Costume: "Curse of the Golden Flower," "The Devil Wears Prada," "Dreamgirls," "Marie Antoinette," "The Queen."

18. Documentary Feature: "Deliver Us From Evil," "An Inconvenient Truth," "Iraq in Fragments," "Jesus Camp," "My Country, My Country."

19. Documentary (short subject): "The Blood of Yingzhou District," "Recycled Life," "Rehearsing a Dream," "Two Hands."

20. Film Editing: "Babel," "Blood Diamond," "Children of Men," "The Departed," "United 93."

21. Makeup: "Apocalypto," "Click," "Pan's Labyrinth."

22. Animated Short Film: "The Danish Poet," "Lifted," "The Little Matchgirl," "Maestro," "No Time for Nuts."

23. Live Action Short Film: "Binta and the Great Idea (Binta Y La Gran Idea)," "Eramos Pocos (One Too Many)," "Helmer & Son," "The Saviour," "West Bank Story."

24. Visual Effects: "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," "Poseidon," "Superman Returns."

The Departed Trailer

You'll never look at cranberry juice the same way again.

Best movie of 2006.

'Babel' and 'Dreamgirls?' Seriously?

January 15, 2007, A night for the underdogs.

The 64th Golden Globes started well enough; Jennifer Hudson grabbed a golden globe for her supporting role in Dreamgirls as Effie and Meryl Streep nabbed her sixth golden globe for playing the "boss from hell" in The Devil Wears Prada.

However, as the night went on, it became aparent the Holywood Foreign Press no longer holds actors/actresses, shows, and films to the same standards of quality.

Dreamgirls walked away with Best Picture in Musical or Comedy, a category it shouldn't have even been nominated for. It's just a Chicago wannabe.

Johnny Depp was once again looked over. Little Miss Sunshine was snubbed. The Departed was ignored. But to top it all off, Desperate Housewives and The Office were beat by Ugly Betty. At least it gives me something to rant about.

Amidst the disappointments, ther were moments of redemption. The two highlights, for me anyways, were that Martin Scorcese won a globe for his direction in The Departed, based on the Hong Kong cinema film Internal Affairs, and the win for Grey's Anatomy.

I hope this isn't an indication as to how the Oscars will go. I don't want this year to be another Crash.

The Kee to Survival

'Children of Men'

Rating: R
Directed by: Alfonso Cuarón
Running Time: 1 hour 49 minutes

Alfonso Cuarón is a genius. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Based on the book by P.D. James, Children of Men is set in London, 2027. It is a dystopic society where women are infertile. People live in chaos and garbage piles line the streets. The whole world has collapsed, but "Britain soldiers on."

The film opens with the news that the world's youngest person, 'Baby' Diego Ricardo, at the age of 18 years, 4 months, 20 days, 16 hours, and 8 minutes, is stabbed to death. The entire population of England seems to be deeply affected by this news, everyone that is except for Theodore Faron (Clive Owen).

As somewhat of a cynic, Theo believes the world is past salvaging. Any efforts to save the human population is hopeless, for it is too late. But that's not to say he isn't out for his own skin. He accepts an offer from his ex-wife Julia (Juliann Moore), the leader of an underground organization called The Fishes, to gather transit papers in exchange for money.

Theo soon finds out Julia's plans are to bring Kee, who is miraculously pregnant in this world where people can no longer procreate, to the Human Project, a place where she can find solitude and safety for her child. Though, no one can have direct contact with the Human Project and people doubt its existence. Even so, Theo assumes the role of helping Kee get to the Project, risking his life in the process. His character goes through a transformation throughout the journey. He starts to have hope in his life once again, after being robbed of it when his child, Dylan, died as an infant.

The acting is overall very good, but Clive Owen is really the one who shines. He has been in roles before and has even been nominated for his role in Closer, but it seems like this was a part he was born to play. He is developing as an actor, and allowing himself be more subtle in how he plays a part. He is the quiet hero.

The greatest feat of the film is its tone. Cuarón doesn't sacrifice anything for it. Everything seen on screen is real. You believe it is real. One scene involves a getaway chase, but it is played in an erie silence, with the only sounds coming from the tires spinning, the doors opening and the characters' vents of frustration to start a rolling car as it travels down a muddy hill. It had me on the edge of my seat.

The best way to describe it is gritty. No punches are held back; parts of the film remind me of the Holocaust and its portrayal in Schindler's List. To top everything off, the shaky camera takes you right in the scenes, with hails of gunfire whizzing past your head.

Everything about the cinematography is truly remarkable. It sets a standard for motion pictures of what should be expected. In one instance, there is a ten minute uncut shot of raw footage following Theo trying to get to a boat with Kee. Kee is taken away and Theo has to run through the streets with tanks and soldiers fighting the rebellion, with the camera following him all the way. I can't even imagine the amount of prepartion and coordination for a shot like that, with explosions, guns, actors, and blood splatters.

Looking back on the film, it is obvious that it has many underlying religous themes. Children of Men is actually a reference to the Bible and specifically refers to the surviving members of the human race. Theo, in Greek, means God. Also, there is an emphasis on Theo's feet, whether he is wearing sandals or taking a foot bath. These point as a reference towards Jesus. And I don't think that Kee's pregnancy is a coincidence.

These themes actually help portray a quite inspiring human quality throughout the film, the quality of human sacrifice. Many characters constantly risk their lives for the sake of Kee and her child. It is in these moments that there the worst human qualites are portrayed like brutality, but contribute to the depressing tone of the film.

Children of Men is definitely one of the best films over the past year. It's just as good as Little Miss Sunshine and The Departed. It really surprised me, considering I did not heard much of the film before it was realeased. Too bad not many people will go see it.

"Captain f***ing Magic."

'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang'

Rating: R
Directed by: Shane Black
Running Time: 1 hours 43 minutes

No really, Harry Lockhart was a magician. That's why he's got those fast reflexes and good motor skills.

Harry (Robert Downey Jr.) is a thief and he excels in being a con man. He stumbles on an audition and ends up being flown across the country to Los Angeles for consideration for a movie. Things quickly take a turn when he participates in a video surveillance job with private detective Gay Perry (Val Kilmer) to prepare for his role only to witness the disposal of a corpse.

The plot unfolds through Harry's quirky and undecisive narration, constantly leaping back and forth, mimicing pulp novels, to keep the audience in the dark and on its toes in its L.A. Confidential style mystery. It works well, and the light tone of narration starkly contrasts the tongue-in-cheek violence.

It's one of the most original and actually humorous takes on crime dramas/film noirs of recent years. In one instance, Harry calls up Gay Perry from underneath a corner shelf in his hotel room's bathroom shaking while looking at a body in his shower. All the while, he is trying to explain why he peed on the corpse.

Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer are comfortable in their roles, which is a good because most of the story is carried out through their banter. There is a chemistry between Gay Perry and Harry, but not the romantic kind. It's funny and entertaining. Perry asks Harry what he would find if he looked the word idiot up in the dictionary. Harry answers, "A picture of me?" Perry quickly follows with, "No, you moron. The definition of idiot, idiot."

With all the humor and intesnity, the director attempted to instill a message throughout the film. This is perhaps the biggest fault of the movie. It should have taken a lesson from the Dude. Most of the coincidences throughout the film hinted at alluding to something bigger. Its obviousness almost makes it feel washed out and corny.

But besides its faults, this film stands out among all the other mundane predictable films. It makes a name for itself and could be considered one of the most hysterical crime dramas.

Shrek 3 Trailer

...and this won't even be the last one.

'Dreamgirls,' not so much a dream

Rating: PG-13
Directed by: Bill Condon
Running Time: 2 hours 5 minutes

If you plan on going to see Dreamgirls, you're walking right into an accident. Run away, run far away.

As a parallel on the Supremes, the film is set in 1960s Detroit and is about three women trying to break into the music industry. It is adapted from a Broadway musical and exposes what goes on behind the stage.

The film is a mix between Rent and Ray, but a bad mix at that. It quickly loses it's potential, going in about ten different directions. About thirty minutes into the movie, it all of a sudden turns into a musical. What the hell? Someone grab Simon Cowell.

Musicals are fine, but bad musicals are like a sledgehammer to the head. The film Chicago is an amazing musical; it doesn't make the same mistake of having characters sing flat dialogue as Dreamgirls does. And just about everything in this movie is flat.

The characters are underdeveloped. I really can't tell you that much about each character. They all have wooden dialogue. Someone fire the screenwriters. And don't even get me started on Jamie Foxx.

The screenplay is where most of the problems are, proving that adaptations are not as easy as they seem. The script moves along at an uneven pace and has too many assumptions. One second the girls are nobodies and the next they are famous. The characters also fall in and out of love between takes.

The one positive aspect of this film is that it is led by a powerful performance by Jennifer Hudson. She can convey emotion when she sings, much more so than Beyonce. But she can't hold the entire movie together the way Johnny Depp does for Pirates of the Caribbean.

If you still want to go see this film, start lowering your expectations. This one is off pitch.