Ogredone

'Shrek the Third'

Running Time: 1 hour 32 minutes
Rating: PG
Directed by: Chris Miller

Shrek the Third is not a movie fit for a king, for it fails to live up to its predecessors. While Shrek and Shrek 2 were original and fresh, this movie seems to recycle and rehash its old material, ultimately sacrificing its comic wit.

The story starts with the King on his deathbed, the telling Shrek (Mike Myers) that he is the first in line to the throne. But luckily for Shrek, their is another heir, his cousin Arthur (Justin Timberlake). Shrek then begins his quest to track down Arthur and convince him to take the role as king of Far Far Away. And this is basically the main thrust of the film - an ogre trying to escape his duty as king.

The biggest problem with the movie is how the main theme is carried out through the character of Arthur. Instead of throwing Shrek and Fionna into the world of parenthood, Shrek assumes the role of a father-like figure. Its unsatisfying and sucks the comedy dry.

Additionally, many items from the second film and reinstated in this one. Charming is back once again as a villain, bringing along with him fabled villains. With all the scattered villains, and Charming at the helm, the climax comes off very anticlimactic.

The film's saving grace is the introduction of princesses (Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel) at Fionna's baby shower. All of them are voiced by SNL actresses and are unique and interesting, playing off of some of the stereotypical traits of the princesses.

Overall, Shrek the Third is a disappointment, with a weak plot, an underwhelming villain, and recycled material. Hopefully Shrek 4 can pick up the pieces.

Culthouse

Grindhouse, released in theaters on April 6, is quickly gaining cult-like status, despite poor box office numbers.

The idea for Grindhouse originated from Tarantino and Rodriguez after Tarantino invited Rodriguez over to his house to watch back-to-back features and movie trailers. Now everyone wants to do it.

There are already talks of a Grindhouse 2, which may include a full length version of Thanksgiving, a fake trailer made by Eli Roth (Hostel). There is talk of Werewomen of the S.S., another fake trailer by Rob Zombie in Grindhouse, becoming a full length film since most of it is already shot. The other fake trailer, Don't, by film director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz), is also being considered for Grindhouse 2 as a feature length film.

Rodriguez, himself, is considering filming Machete as his next project, squeezing it in before Sin City 2. He already filmed 30 minutes of it for the opening fake trailer in Grindhouse and Danny Trejo says it's a definite. As for Tarantino, he is working on expanding his film in Grindhouse, Death Proof.

But now... Eli Roth wants to take Grindhouse one step further. He now wants to make a film of nothing but a series of fake trailers, while still having a story line. He has already started the script.

Harry Likes His Women With Curves

After browsing throught the Internet, I stumbled on to something a little unsettling and sorta creepy.

Recently, posters for Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix were released. It appears that the posters for Imax 3D cinemas made Emma Watson's (Hermione Granger) chest... well... bigger.

Unaltered Version:

Altered Version:

Emma Watson plays a girl who is only 15 years-old in the Harry Potter movie. Anyone who goes to Harry Potter for the sex appeal... is well... I don't even have a word for it. I think the pictures say it all.

A Darker Spider

'Spider-man 3'

Directed by: Sam Raimi
Running Time: 2 hours 36 minutes
Rating: PG-13

With all the hype surrounding Spider-man 3, you'd have to stick your head in the ground to avoid getting caught in its web.

For Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), battling an eight-legged mad scientist is child’s play. Now he’s got a real fight. This time around, he confronts an escaped convict, Flint Marko (Thomas Haden Church), made of sand who can shape-shift limbs to wield hammers and reach heights of twenty stories, a vengeful ex-best friend, Harry Osborn (James Franco), blood thirsty for his father’s killer, and his agile and merciless counterpart, Venom (Topher Grace).

Because there are so many villains, they all feel underdeveloped. The audience never really learns anything more about Sandman than his motivation to cure his sick daughter by any means possible, Harry flip-flops a little bit unbelievably, and Eddie Brock gets very little onscreen time, especially as Venom.

Good thing it isn’t the villains, however, that drive the picture; it’s Peter and his internal struggle. At the beginning of the story, a comet harboring black goo, a symbiote, hits Earth from outer space and finds its way into Peter’s apartment. When it attaches itself to his suite, it makes him much more aggressive and violent. As Black Spider-man, he is consumed and poisoned by revenge on his Uncle Ben’s killer, Flint Marko.

So if you were wondering, there are actually four villains, if you count Spidey himself. This makes for a much darker film than the previous two. His aggression pushes everyone he cares about away from him, including his girlfriend, Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst).

The darker tone is a good direction for the series, offering something new and intense, but at times, Sam Raimi goes for something along the lines of 80’s emo slapstick and throws it out for cheap laughs. There is a scene in a jazz club where Peter tries to make Mary Jane jealous, but does so by dancing like John Travolta from the 70’s. Also, as Black Spidey, Peter has his hair over his forehead, which is a tad over the top.

As Peter Parker, Tobey Maguire is the perfect choice because he makes it seem effortless to give the character depth and sensitivity. He’s shown that he owns the role in the previous films and doesn’t give any reason to think otherwise in this film. I honestly can’t imagine anyone else playing Spider-man.

The rest of the actors are cast very well also. Topher Grace especially shines as Eddie Brock by bringing the character’s ego, charisma, vulnerability, cockiness and menace to the forefront. He contrasts Peter and who he could have been if he didn’t have a father figure.

And what Sam Raimi film would this be without a cameo by Bruce Campbell? He makes his appearance as a French Maître d’, and steals his scene with perfectly timed humor and an outlandish French accent. Raimi uses similar humor in various parts of the film, especially with J. Jonah Jameson (J.K. Simmons) in the newsroom. In one instance, Jameson’s secretary repeatedly shakes his desk with a remote buzzer in a sarcastic effort to lower his blood pressure.

The main problem with the movie is that there are so many subplots that go in so many different directions, there are things left underdeveloped. It’s not as good as Spider-man 2, but that’s not to say that this isn’t a good movie, with the same Spider-man at heart and one hell of a climax reminiscent to the days of watching Saturday morning superhero cartoons.